I got a beautiful message today from my BFF and my heart holder. She was delayed in LA by 24 hours and had decided to head to Disneyland. Did I want anything? Was the crux of the message. She meant particularly for Lyra. Which I got. But what do you buy for a child who has passed away? It’s still nice to include them but it’s never easy.
We’re a big Disney family, been a few times all the way from here in Australia. First time we went I was pregnant with Michael. We bought him plenty of beautiful baby things. All of which sit in a box high in the wardrobe. That box contains some of the most precious things I own. The things he will never wear. Never grow out of. Never use. What a shit box. What a precious box. The things in that box are all we have.
When we went to Disney world in Florida, we bought him a garden ornament for the cemetery. Who buys their kid a bloody garden ornament as their present from Disney world? How fucked up is it to think about that?
What’s worse than that? That now I have 2 of those shitty boxes. I now have one for Lyra too. Filled with all the same things. Except in pink. And that totally sucks.
For her due date I bought her a garden ornament too. A hummingbird. It’s gorgeous and I love it. Made of pretty coloured glass and beautifully curved metal. It looks lovely with the sun shining on it. In the ground. Above where she lays. Instead of an “it’s a girl” balloon and a pretty going home outfit she got a garden ornament. From bunnings. Not many people buy newborn gifts from there. Unless you’re like me. Part of the worlds crappest club. With the worlds best members. And own a shitty box or two at the top of the wardrobe.