The one about catastrophising

catastrophise

 Verb; view or present a situation as considerably worse than it actually is. 

One  of he things I’ve been learning in my extensive “psychology studies” is that people have a natural tendency to assume things are worse than they are. This particularly happens when carefully planned events are changed, when we ruminate on a stagnant thought or more commonly for me, at night. When it’s quiet and dark and there’s not much you can proactively do to help this situation. 

Tonight, this has happened to someone who would normally be grounded by me in a situation like this ( not that I’m not extremely guilty of it too!) but I’m not there to help.  

 Instead of calmly taking the problem in his stride as he ordinarily would, he catastrophised it. Made it a million times worse than it needed to be and in dealing with the situation has effectively punished himself in the process. Instead of trying to think of how to get around the speed bump, he immediately increased speed and drove straight at it, causing a lot of collateral damage particularly to himself. 
I’m sitting at least 20k away unable to do anything to help. Which is frustrating to say the least. Especially as I found out by email and he’s asleep now. 

So tomorrow morning ill try my best to unpick the situation, get it back to a manageable level that’s more in line with the actual initiating event. And attempt to find the balance between what happened and the rarionalised solution to it. 

Night time always makes everything seem worse than it is and I’ve never worked out if it’s because it’s lonely to be the only one awake so you’re left with your thoughts or is it’s because it’s dark and cold and those things make you feel worse in isolation anyway.

  So next time you find yourself doing something like this. Take a step back and question if your reaction to the event is appropriate, does it punish everyone or only those involved. And ask yourself, am I catastrophising this?

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