In the last 6 months, I have been through a lot of changes. Some new things have come along that are helpful and I’m loving. But other things have become less helpful than they were before.
I’ve realised that sometimes I just need time alone or with my own family. Other times my mind and effort needs to just be with my closest friends. And sometimes I need to do something really social with just about anyone.
On the other hand, there are things I need to let go of. I need to stop saying yes to things too far in the future. I need to stop saying yes just to make sure I don’t hurt someone’s feelings. I need to stop saying yes when I really mean no.
As my mind races at a million miles an hour, it can be really difficult not to ruminate on things and people who do not serve me anymore. People who have deserted me. The things I can’t get over, even if it’s just a small part of a situation or relationship.
I once read that holding a grudge is like letting someone or something live rent free in your head. They take up space but serve no useful purpose. It’s about time I became the landlord from hell and kicked these lowlife thoughts out. I’m worth more than that. And if my mind needs to race, I want it only to be interesting and purposeful (and sometimes very random!).
I’m not sure how long it will take and how difficult it will be, but today and all the days from here on, I’m making a change. I’m going to try and let go of all the things that do not serve me well. All the things that contribute to stress and anxiety and general unrest in my life. And if I don’t manage to do it first time I will keep trying. Because I don’t want to be ruled by that shit anymore.