Do not overestimate what you can do in one year, and underestimate what you can do in five.
Something I’ve often told other people but am finding it hard to believe myself.
I’m struggling to see a way out at the moment and it’s looking like a long way ahead until things start improving health wise for me. I haven’t found any effective medications yet after trying many, I’m off work, have weekly appointments with my GP and my psychiatrist, go to the hospital’s day program twice a week, feel crap a lot of the time and feel amazing the rest of it. Some nights I barely sleep. There seems to be a knock on effect of where my head is to quite a few other physical symptoms. And it’s all totally exhausting.
Do I see myself still here in a year? Maybe. Unfortunately at the moment my answer is that it’s likely. I’ve already been here 6 months. But do I see myself here in 5 years? No. I am hoping (and expect) to be much better. More level headed, have effective medications, see my doctors a lot less (and hopefully only when I need new prescriptions!) and not have to go to the hospital at all.
So this is what I’m trying to make my current thinking. The bigger picture is so much more important than what’s happening right now. Almost every acute situation will be a distant memory in a few years time. Even the worst ones.
It’s so hard to see where you are, in the moment. And that’s sometimes as far ahead as it’s possible to think about. And realistically, it’s all we have, as the future is never promised. But there is always a bigger picture. It’s not always better but most of the time it is. And in this situation I think it will be.